Community has become a bit of a buzzword lately, but it’s never felt harder to find and/or build. Especially as adults, building those connections can feel awkward, time-consuming, or even impossible. 

If you haven’t already, you can check out my earlier post on How to Build Belonging in a Disconnected World, where I unpack how to build that community that a lot of us long for.

As promised, here are real, tangible ways to start finding community.

• Be a Beginner Somewhere

Being a beginner gives you permission to be curious, humble, and open, all of which make connecting with others a bit easier.

Try: 

1. A new art class (ceramics, watercolor, crochet)

2. A new workout class (yoga, pilates, climbing, cycling)

3. A new sport (pickleball, tennis, soccer, basketball)

4. Exploring a new park and chatting up the parkgoers 

5. Visiting a new spiritual or religious community

• Seek Out Neighborhood Places

Community grows where you show up regularly so the more familiar your face becomes, the easier connection starts to flow.

Try: 

1. Bringing your pup to the local dog park and chatting with other pet parents

2. Sitting at the bar and talking to the bartender and/or regulars

3. Becoming a “regular” at your preferred local coffee shop

4. Attending your local library events

5. Joining a trivia night or local sports viewing event

6. Shopping small and connecting with the owners

• Practice Initiating

Most people are waiting to be invited, so instead of waiting, take action and take the first step.

Try:

1. (If you have kids), inviting another parent for coffee or a park playdate

2. Hosting a game night or potluck

3. Working from a coworking space instead of home

4. Hosting a neighborhood block party

5. Becoming a pen pal

6. Inviting your partner’s friend’s partner for a double date

• Two Birds, One Scone: Volunteer

Giving back creates natural, values-based connections. You’ll meet people who care about the same things you do, without having to do the small-talk to find out.

Try:

1. Organizing a local food or donation drive

2. Volunteering at a summer camp or after-school program

3. Joining an advocacy or mutual-aid group

4. Hosting a clothing swap

5. Joining the board or committee of a local organization

• Find Community Within Your Interests

Start where you already feel in your element. Community is often built around shared passions that give people something meaningful to talk about and do together.

For:

1. Gardeners: Join a community garden where you plant on your own plot, but grow alongside others

2. Athletes: Join a running or walking club, a recreational sports league, or a climbing gym

3. Crafters: Attend workshops or host a craft night

4. Readers: Join or start a book club

5. Bakers: Take a cooking class or host a baking night with friends

Just like all living things need sunlight, we need connection. Our sunlight isn’t just the star in the sky, it’s each other. We were never meant to do life alone so start small, be intentional, show up authentically, and let it unfold at its own pace. You belong wherever you show up.

• Sam Villarreal, MS, LPC, LCDC