Mental Health Blog : Therapy Tips, Coping Tools & Insights
Table of Contents
(MOST RECENT TO OLDEST)
How to Work With (Not Against) Your Inner Critic
Fort Worth Community Resources: Local Organizations Offering Safety, Advocacy, and Legal Help
Boundaries: They're More Than Just Saying No
How EMDR Can Help Make Distressing Memories Less Intrusive
The Loneliness of Being the First One to Break a Cycle
Why I Do This Work: A Therapist Reflects on Healing and Hope in Uncertain Times
Queer Resources in Fort Worth and Nationwide: Support for LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC Communities
Queer-Affirming Therapy: What It Is and Why It Matters
Mental Health Awareness Isn’t Just For May: How to Keep Caring for Yourself Year-Round
Can I Benefit From Trauma Therapy If I Don’t Remember Anything “Bad” Happening?
Your Privacy Matters: Why I Opt Out of Insurance Panels as a Private Pay Mental Health Therapist
How to Work With (Not Against) Your Inner Critic
If you’re in therapy (or thinking about starting), you probably already know that one of the loudest internal voices we wrestle with is the inner critic.
It’s the part of you that says:
“You’re not trying hard enough.”
“You’ll just embarrass yourself if you speak up.”
“No one likes you”
Clients often tell me their inner critic feels relentless, like it’s either in the driver’s seat or yelling in their ear nonstop. That can be exhausting, and it makes sense you’d want to get rid of it altogether, but here’s the thing: the critic isn’t the enemy. Your inner critic is a part of you that, at some point, learned to protect you, even if its methods are harsh.
Step 1: Understand What the Critic Wants
The inner critic didn’t appear out of nowhere. It usually develops as a survival mechanism, helping you to avoid mistakes, rejection, and/or danger by becoming an untrained security guard: overbearing, anxious, and not very nuanced. In therapy, I often ask clients to pause and consider: “What is this part of you trying to do for you?” Instead of “How do I make this voice shut up?”.
For example:
The critic says, “Don’t speak up in this meeting.”
Underneath, it’s really saying, “I want to keep you safe from rejection or judgment.”
That reframe can take the sting out so instead of just hearing the attack, you begin to see the protection behind why this part does what it does..
Step 2: Separate the Critic from the Whole Self
A critical thought can feel like the truth, but it’s not your entire identity. It’s one part of you. Just one piece of the beautifully complex whole that makes you, you. You can acknowledge its commentary without agreeing with it.
I often suggest using language like, “A part of me believes I’m not good enough,” instead of, “I’m not good enough.” That small shift creates distance to help you see the critic as just one perspective at the table, not the only voice.
Step 3: Bring in Other Parts of You
In session, we might explore what other parts are available. Maybe the compassionate part. Maybe the wise, grounded part. Maybe even the playful part.
You can try asking yourself:
What would I say to a close friend if they had this thought?
What would the most loving part of me say to this?
How would I respond if a younger version of me felt this way?
This isn’t about silencing or dismissing the critic, it’s about having multiple perspectives at the table, like the parts of you that are supportive and compassionate. By widening the conversation, you reduce the inner critic from hogging the mic.
Step 4: Shift the Relationship, Not Just the Thought
A lot of clients are surprised when I tell them: the goal isn’t to erase the inner critic. The harder you try to silence the inner critic, the louder it often gets. Once you treat this part with respect, curiosity, and maybe even gratitude then it softens and there is more room to have a dialogue. Imagine these parts as inner people, we wouldn’t want to ignore a physical person, that usually is hurtful and counterproductive to building trust and knowing why they acted the way they did.
Instead, try acknowledging it:
“I hear you. You’re worried about me failing.”
“Thanks for trying to protect me, but I want to try this anyway.”
You’re not agreeing, you’re accepting and communicating with your inner critic; just like you would with a physical person when you want to further the relationship after a rupture. You’re letting the critic know you hear its concern, but you’re choosing to lead with a different part of yourself.
Step 5: Practice in Small Moments
Therapy is where we can practice together, but your everyday life is where the real change happens. Don’t wait until the next big job interview to experiment with this, we need to build trust with our inner parts in order to begin to change what they’ve been so used to doing. Start with something small and manageable as to not overwhelm you or your parts:
When you make a small mistake and feel inner criticism rise up.
When you hesitate to send a text, practice responding internally to this part of you.
When you’re learning something new, catch the commentary.
Every time you notice, pause, and respond differently, you’re building new neural pathways in your brain. This neurologically strengthens your ability to lead with compassion and understanding rather than fear since we often fear what we don’t understand. Over time, the critic can soften and become more of an inner coach where it offers opinions in a supportive way, but ultimately you feel more in charge.
Closing Thought
Your inner critic may always be there, but it doesn’t have to run the show. In therapy, we can work on transforming it from a relentless judger into a cautious advisor you listen to without obeying.
Healing doesn’t mean eliminating parts of yourself. It means learning to work with them in a way that honors both your need for safety and your capacity for growth. It's integrating and befriending all of the parts of ourselves because as Carl Rogers said “the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”. If you struggle with understanding and befriending your inner critic, I’m here to help you get there using IFS/parts work therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today.
👉 Question for readers: When was the last time your inner critic spoke up, and how did you respond?
Fort Worth Community Resources: Local Organizations Offering Safety, Advocacy, and Legal Help
Below are some resources in Fort Worth for domestic violence survivors, legal aid assistance, and immigrant support programs to help you or your loved ones get the care and protection that is needed.
🎗️ Domestic Violence Resources
1. National Domestic Violence Hotline
A national 24/7 hotline for victims of domestic violence. Can text “START” to 88788, chat online, or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
📞 1-800-799-7233 | 🌐 https://www.thehotline.org/
2. One Safe Place
A non-profit focused on providing comprehensive support to individuals who have experienced child abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, hate crimes, and/or elder abuse in Tarrant County. They offer counseling services, advocacy services, childcare, food and clothing, immigration services, job skills training, legal assistance, parenting and relationship education, spiritual support, victim advocacy and case management, and healthcare/wellness advocacy.
3. SafeHaven of Tarrant County
The only state designated family violence center in Tarrant County. Their end goal is to provide freedom for survivors of domestic violence. They have a 24/7 local hotline at 1-877-701-7233. They offer emergency shelter, bilingual counseling, children’s services, transitional housing, legal aid, and case management all free of charge.
📞 1-877-701-7233 | 🌐 https://www.safehaventc.org/
⚖️ Legal Aid Assistance
1. Tarrant County Bar LegalLine
A community service program offered twice a month by the Tarrant County Bar Association where volunteer attorneys offer up to 15 minutes of free advice to Tarrant County residents on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month. You have to register online to participate. The next LegalLine date is 9/11/25.
2. Legal Hospice of Texas
Their mission is to provide high-quality pro bono legal services to low-income persons living with terminal illnesses or HIV. They offer estate planning, assist with insurance, employment issues, public benefits, and housing aid.
📞 214-521-6622 | 🌐 https://www.legalhospice.org/
3. Legal Aid of NorthWest Texas
Works to ensure equal access to justice by providing free civil legal services to low-income individuals and families in the 114 counties across North and West Texas.
📞 888-529-5277 | 🌐 https://legalaidtx.org/
🧑🧑🧒🧒 Immigrant Support Programs
1. Human Rights Initiative of North Texas
Provides clients with free, high-quality legal services to people who have suffered human rights abuses, as well as various social services for their families. These clients might be asylum seekers fleeing persecution based on religion, race, ethnicity, political opinion, or membership in a particular social group, those protected under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), the Victims of Trafficking and the Violence Protection Act, immigrants abused by a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident (green card holder) spouse, and/or immigrant children who are victims of violent crimes, neglect, abuse, or abandonment. Assistance is available by appointment only. They recently moved and are now located in Dallas off of Swiss Ave.
📞 214-855-0520 | 🌐 https://hrionline.org/
2. Legal Aid of NorthWest Texas
Works to ensure equal access to justice by providing free civil legal services to low-income individuals and families in the 114 counties across North and West Texas. Individuals can apply for legal aid online or by phone. Lawyers are able to help immigrants with the paperwork necessary to help them gain status, especially in cases involving domestic violence, sexual assault, certain crimes, and human trafficking.
📞 888-529-5277 | 🌐 https://legalaidtx.org/legal-topics/immigration-issues/
Finding support and advocacy for free or low cost can be incredibly difficult, so hopefully these resources are helpful to you and/or your loved ones.
Sam Villarreal, MS, LPC, LCDC
Boundaries: They’re More Than Just Saying No
The word “boundaries” can feel loaded for a lot of people. Sometimes people can picture a solid wall between two people, someone crossing their arms, or someone just flat-out saying “no”. And sure, sometimes boundaries can sound like that because boundaries exist on a spectrum, but let’s also not be reductionistic about them altogether. If we just equate boundaries to rejection, then we’re missing the point entirely. Boundaries do not exist to push people away, they exist to create relationships where we can actually thrive and coexist securely.
The Myth: Boundaries = Just Saying “No”
Healthy boundaries aren’t commonly taught, modeled or talked about within western society, or your family unit, especially if you grew up in a culture, family, or gender role that prioritized self-sacrifice. Boundaries were usually labeled as “selfish”, which depending on the context and the culture could definitely fit so please take what resonates and leave what does not. Boundaries, in the context of western culture, do not always fit for each person and that’s okay. But here’s the thing, when we treat boundaries as only about shutting people down, we end up overloaded, resentful, and quietly disappearing from our lives without an identity of our own, just that of our families.
Types of Boundaries
Boundaries show up in so many places, not just in conversation with others, but in body language, in self-esteem, and in relationship with yourself. A few examples are:
Physical Boundaries: These protect your physical space and body, your right not to be touched, to have privacy, and to meet physical needs like rest.
An example of this: You move away if someone sits too close to you or saying, “I’m not up for a hug right now” when someone approaches you for a hug.
Sexual Boundaries: These protect your right to consent, ask for what you want sexually, and ask about your partner’s sexual history among other things.
An example of this: Letting your partner know how often, where, and in which context you’d like to be intimately touched or having a personal sexual boundary that you do not have sex on first dates.
Emotional/Mental Boundaries: These protect your right to have your own feelings and thoughts, to not have your feelings criticized or invalidated, and to not have to take care of other people’s feelings and thoughts (which is staying accountable for your own feelings without feeling responsible for other people’s). These also protect from not oversharing personal information that may be inappropriate for the level of closeness in a particular relationship.
An example of this: When a friend inquires about something that you’re not ready to share yet and you say, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this right now” or sharing with your spouse that you felt embarrassed when they brought up something personal in front of their adolescent and would like them to do so in private next time.
Spiritual/Religious Boundaries: These protect your right to believe in what you want, worship as you wish, and practice your spiritual and religious beliefs.
An example of this: Joanne going to a specific church alone because their partner doesn’t share their beliefs or someone taking a moment to silently pray before they eat regardless if other people pray with them.
Financial/Material Boundaries: These protect your financial resources and material possessions, your right to spend money as you choose, to not give/loan money or possessions if you do not want to, and your right to be paid by an employer as agreed upon.
An example of this: Someone being on a budget so they bring their lunch from home and refrain from eating out for lunch or someone verbally reminding their roommate to not borrow their car without asking.
Time Boundaries: These protect how you spend your time, protect you from agreeing to do things you don’t want to do, having others waste your time, being overworked, and overall protecting your energy.
An example of this: Reserving your evenings for family time once you’re off of work and setting all work notifications on do not disturb during those times or letting a friend know that you can help run errands with them this weekend, but you’d need to leave by 3:00 PM.
Relational Boundaries: These are agreements that you set in relationships with others like how often you’re available to text or communicate with, what feels respectful for you, things that you need to feel safe in relationship with others.
An example of this: Letting monogamous partners know that infidelity is a deal-breaker and you won’t be able to continue the relationship if they cheat or letting your mom know that your children won’t be coming over to her house since one of your kids is allergic to cats, but she is welcome to come over to your house.
Internal/Self Boundaries: These are ones that you set with yourself like how you speak to yourself, how long you’ll doom-scroll, or how much money you have set aside to spend on fun things this month.
An example of this: Telling yourself that you’ll go on a walk in 15-minutes and actually following through with it or setting screen time boundaries for social media apps so you don’t doom scroll for hours at a time.
Boundaries as Acts of Care and Why They Feel Hard
Boundaries are not punishment, they are structure, routine, and self-love. When you say “I need to leave by 9”, what you’re really saying is, “I want to be present with you AND also take care of myself so I don’t resent you later and then blame myself for not leaving earlier”. When you stop saying yes to every request, the yeses you do give carry more authenticity. Boundaries keep relationships safe, honest, and sustainable. They make room for more authentic connection and not less.
If setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, then you’re doing it right and you’re not alone. Some common reasons that this feels hard include:
Fear of conflict or rejection
People pleasing tendencies (survival strategy)
Trauma that blurred your sense of self vs. others
It makes sense if your body goes into panic mode just thinking about disappointing someone by setting a boundary for yourself. It’s not a weakness, it’s just conditioning.
Building Healthier Boundaries Without Feeling Guilt (There’s No Way Around Feeling That Guilt)
Unfortunately, you’re going to feel guilt whether you like it or not. The more you build up your boundaries, the less guilt that you will feel because it won’t be so conditioned anymore to be boundary-less.. Here are some ways to start:
Check in with your body: Notice resentment, exhaustion, or tightness in your chest (signs that you might need a boundary)
Start small: Try phrases like, “I can’t commit to that right now” or, “I need some time to think on it” or, “I need some downtime tonight”
Practice consistency: Boundaries are a continual process, not a one-and-done thing. It’s a muscle that you strengthen over time.
Give yourself permission: Your needs are valid AND your needs are equal to everyone else's, not less than so quit putting your needs and wants below others.
Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re not about rejecting others, or cutting people out. They’re like bridges we build to make connections deeper and safer with others. When you set a boundary, you’re saying, “Here’s how I can show up fully and authentically with you.” and that is the opposite of selfish, it’s the foundation of secure, healthy love, for yourself and your chosen people. The hardest thing to accept is when people don’t respect your boundaries because it says everything about them, not about you. If you struggle with setting boundaries, struggle with the discomfort of sitting in the guilt of holding a boundary, I’d love to set up a complimentary consultation with you here.
Sam Villarreal, MS, LPC, LCDC
How EMDR Can Help Make Distressing Memories Less Intrusive
Let’s start by naming what we’re even talking about. A distressing memory isn’t just a bad moment you’d rather forget. It’s the memory that you can’t stop thinking about even after you tried everything to distract yourself. It’s the memory that floods you with feelings of overwhelm, the unwanted flashbacks as if you had a broken time machine, and don’t forget the physical sensations that the body holds onto that you wish you could stop feeling.
These kinds of memories are common and exhausting for people who’ve lived through trauma. They can feel like they’re running the show, making it hard to fully feel safe in your own skin.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a trauma therapy that helps reduce the emotional charge of these memories so they become less intrusive, less painful, and less overpowering. The memory isn’t erased, but it does start to live in the past where it belongs, instead of replaying in the present like it still has power over you.
Why Do Intrusive Memories Happen?
Unfortunately, not all memories are stored the same way. When something traumatic happens, the brain gets overwhelmed so it becomes too flooded to file the experience away properly. Instead, it gets “stuck” in the nervous system and it becomes raw, fragmented, and hypersensitive. That’s why sometimes a smell, a sight, a sound, or a familiar interaction can leave you feeling activated even if you logically know you are safe. This can leave you feeling helpless or out of control. You’re not alone. EMDR works by helping your brain communicate with your body to help finish processing what didn’t happen at the time of the trauma.
So, What Exactly Is EMDR?
EMDR combines attention on a distressing memory with bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds on either side of your body) to activate the brain’s natural healing processes. The result of this combination shifts the emotional charge of the memory, decreasing the emotional intensity, and building new grounded beliefs in yourself.
For example, a person who was assaulted might begin EMDR with the belief “I’m not safe”. After reprocessing, that memory may still exist, but it now carries a new belief like “it’s over now” or “I have power and safety today”.
That shift can reduce how intrusive the memory feels in the here and now. EMDR is different from talk therapy because it doesn’t require you to retell or relive every detail or your trauma. It often reduces symptoms quicker for many people. Your brain and body are the core ingredients to healing.
What to Expect in EMDR Therapy
If you’re new to EMDR, it’s completely normal to feel unsure, or even skeptical. It looks strange in action and it may feel unfamiliar at first, but the process is intentional and trauma-informed. A trained EMDR therapist will spend time building a strong foundation of regulation tools and internal resources with you so that all parts of you feel emotionally safe and grounded before beginning. Preparation work is critical, especially for those with complex trauma, chronic dissociation, or a history of invalidation. EMDR only works when the nervous system feels supported, not ambushed or pressured. You stay in control no matter what, you can pause at any time, and you set the pace. Your therapist should continually assess your window of tolerance to help you stay grounded throughout.
A Typical EMDR Session Might Include:
Grounded check-ins: To assess how you’re feeling and whether you’re ready to do some reprocessing that day because sometimes EMDR sessions aren’t on the menu and that is more than okay. This also includes checking in with different parts of yourself to see if they have concerns with what you’re doing just to get full consent from every facet of you.
Identifying the target memory: Together, you’ll choose a specific event or emotional pattern to work on (sometimes from previous sessions or to start with).
Tracking thoughts, images, emotions, and body sensations: You don’t need to narrate the entire memory, your therapist may simply ask what you’re noticing internally and it may not even be related to the memory and that is okay
Bilateral stimulation: This could be following the therapist’s fingers with your eyes, tapping on your own shoulders or knees with your hands, following a light with your eyes, or using headphones that alternate sounds from left to right.
Processing in short sets: The therapist will pause regularly to check in and help you notice how things might be shifting with the target memory.
Closing with regulation: Sessions end with calming techniques, even if the memory is not fully processed that day. You may feel emotional during or after sessions, but that is to be expected.
Who Can Benefit from EMDR?
EMDR was originally developed to treat PTSD, but over the past few decades, it’s proven to be effective for a wide range of emotional struggles.
EMDR is especially helpful for:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Complex Trauma and Childhood Trauma
EMDR can help with developmental wounds and attachment trauma alongside parts work although it might take a little longer to reach those deeper layers
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Particularly when they’re linked to earlier adverse experiences
Phobias and performance anxiety to help clear emotional roots and self-sabotaging beliefs
Medical or Birth Trauma
It’s a strong option if you:
Feel “stuck” in patterns that you can’t explain
Are tired of intellectually understanding your trauma, but still feeling it
Want something beyond traditional talk therapy
Have memories, images, or body sensations that intrude into daily life
EMDR can be done in-person and virtually with adults, teens, and children in age-appropriate ways.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever thought, “I know it’s in the past, but it still feels like it’s happening”, EMDR might be a good fit for you. Healing isn’t linear, it’s not always fast or comfortable, but it is possible with the right support. Curious if EMDR is a good fit for you? Contact me for a free consultation. You deserve relief. You deserve peace.
Sam Villarreal, MS, LPC, LCDC
The Loneliness of Being the First One to Break a Cycle
This is for the brave ones who do what no one else in their family dared to do. The ones who stop the cycle, who go to therapy first, who say “no” instead of staying silent, who choose healing over suffering. And no one throws them a party for it.
No one tells you that healing can feel lonelier than suffering in familiarity, at least for a little while until you find your footing. That choosing clarity might mean losing connection, at least at first. That doing what might be best for you, might look like betrayal to others. When you’re first to break a pattern, grief can show up in unexpected ways. There is grief for the closeness you once had with people you now see more clearly. Grief when others interpret your growth as judgement. Grief for the versions of yourself that you’re learning to let go of. Grief of losing connection, while gaining clarity for yourself and future generations.
The labor of being a cycle breaker isn’t just yours, there’s an invisible labor of many. You’re not only healing yourself and your own wounds, you’re metabolizing and working through generations of patterns, ruptures, beliefs, and wounds that were never meant to be yours, but landed on your shoulders anyway. On top of that, that labor also comes with emotional fatigue. The exhaustion of always being the one who is emotionally aware, reflects, initiates, listens, explains, communicates, and grows. The one who is “doing the work” for your family, for yourself, and for your lineage that never got the chance. It makes sense that you feel alone sometimes. It’s no wonder, you might feel guilty for seeing things differently. You might also wonder if you’re too sensitive, too “extra”, if you’re the problem, if ignorance was bliss. I’ve been there and I’ve made it to the other side.
Here’s what I can tell you. Healing is not linear. It’s messy and chaotic and layered and emotional and also so worth it. Healing is learning to name what you need and want even when no one asked. Healing is feeling joy and grief all at the same time. Healing is learning to parent yourself for what you feel that you missed and accepting what you were given from your guardians. Healing is regulating your nervous system because no one can regulate that for you, but they can definitely help to co-regulate with you. Healing is holding to your boundaries, respecting yourself, and noticing that others will respect you in the process. Healing is not about being perfect, it’s not about pleasing others, it’s about being authentic to what is right for you in the moment that you are in. And no, the loneliness you feel does not mean that you’re doing it wrong, it just means that you’re the first person in your family to do this and you’re leading the way for others after you. You don’t need validation from your family to see that what you’re doing is impactful and monumental. You got this. There are people who understand. You are not alone, even if it feels like it.
If this feels familiar, if you’re tired, angry, hopeful, and heartbroken all at once, therapy can be a place where you don’t have to explain why it’s all so heavy. You just get to put it down and we can sift through the heaviness together. I offer therapy that honors both your story and your survival, whether you’re navigating what it means to differentiate while honoring collectivistic values or trying to hold onto your roots within an individualistic culture, I’m here to support you.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Why I Do This Work: A Therapist Reflects on Healing and Hope in Uncertain Times
Therapy is one of those sacred places to me where there are moments that are deeply intimate, not just between therapist and client, but between a client and themselves where they’ve never said something out loud before, something they’ve never acknowledged to themselves before and sometimes it’s wrapped in a whisper, or a laugh, or maybe shame. When it lands though, the room shifts and time stops just for a second, it feels deeply sacred to witness. I feel privileged to bear witness to those moments and I did not become a therapist for that reason, but that is the moment I am here for.
I became a therapist because I know what it’s like to carry invisible weight, to be the one who holds everything together, to grow up navigating multiple worlds, culturally, generationally, emotionally, and never feeling like you fully belong to any of them. Lately, that invisible weight has felt heavier for so many of us and not just because of our own personal history, but because of what is happening all around us on a systemic level.
We are living in a time where fear feels palpable, where basic human rights feel up for debate, where families are separated, identities are politicized, and safety feels tentative, especially for those of us who are Black, Brown, immigrant, LGBTQIA+, disabled, or first-generation. Here in Fort Worth, many are navigating a deep fear of not being protected, of being targeted, of losing their autonomy, of being silenced, or erased.
This climate is not separate from our mental health, it is directly tied to it. Chronic fear, generational survival instincts, and cultural pressures live within our bodies. They shape how we move through the world, how we connect with others, how we trust, and how we rest or how we don’t. That is why therapy is not just a luxury or part of a self-care routine, it’s resistance. It's a reclamation. The horrors persist, but so do we, in spite of it all, we must continue.
I work with people who have had to be strong for everyone else and are slowly learning how to be soft with themselves. People who carry intergenerational trauma, cultural expectations, and a deep desire to be the one who “breaks the cycle” for the future generations after them. People who are trying to rest even when it feels unsafe, who are trying to hope even when the world feels fragile and hopeless.
Therapy is not a fix all, but I do know when therapy is relational, trauma-informed, and rooted in the belief that healing is political, ancestral, and personal all at the same time, it can help people become less fragmented, less alone, and more resistant to the horrors outside.
I do this work because surviving isn’t enough. Because our communities deserve care that sees our entire identity, context, and history included. Healing in a world that wants you silent is revolutionary and I believe in the quiet power of people healing together. There’s hope in the shadows, hope in the behind the scenes work, hope in the anticipation of the work. I see that power every day and it gives me endless hope. We are not alone. Feel free to reach out here.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Queer Resources in Fort Worth and Nationwide: Support for LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC Communities
Whether you’re looking for mental health support, connection, housing resources, or just community, you deserve access to spaces that see all of who you are. Below are some resources in Fort Worth and beyond that offer affirming, community care for LGBTQIA+ folks, including BIPOC and QTPOC (queer and trans people of color) communities.
🌈 Fort Worth and DFW Queer Resources
LGBTQ Saves
A Fort Worth-based nonprofit offering safe spaces for LGBTQ youth to express themselves and build community. They offer virtual and in-person meetups, mentorship programs, family support, and emergency funds.
Finn’s Place
A community center in Fort Worth for trans and gender-diverse people to gather, grow, and flourish. They work to provide a safe space for the trans community to gather and access resources, educate the community about trans and LGBTQ+ people and their experiences, and create opportunities for trans joy.
Abounding Prosperity Inc. (Dallas)
Founded to address health, social, and economic disparities impacting Black LGBTQIA+ communities. Services include HIV prevention, mental health, food, housing assistance, and a drop-in center.
Resource Center (Dallas)
One of the largest LGBTQIA+ community centers in Texas, offering services ranging from health and wellness programs to advocacy, support groups, and HIV services.
Prism Health North Texas
An inclusive health center providing sexual health care, HIV prevention and treatment, and behavioral health services.
Trinity Pride FW
More than just an annual celebration, they are a hub for community events, local advocacy, and visibility throughout the year.
Housing Resources
Housing Crisis Center - Offers housing support and case management in the DFW area.
🌎 Nationwide Queer and BIPOC Resources
The Trevor Project
Support for LGBTQ youth under 25, including a 24/7 crisis line, text/chat support, and an online community platform.
📞 1-866-488-7386 | 🌐 https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Trans Lifeline
Peer support run by and for trans people. Also offers microgrants and resources for name/gender marker changes.
📞 877-565-8860 | 🌐 https://translifeline.org/
LGBT National Help Center
Offers free and confidential support lines, youth and senior hotlines, and weekly chatrooms for connection.
📞 1-888-843-4564 | 🌐 https://lgbthotline.org/
PFLAG
The nation’s largest organization for LGBTQ+ people, their families, and allies — offering local chapters, education, and advocacy.
Desi LGBTQ+ Helpline for South Asians
Support for South Asian LGBTQ+ individuals in the United States
📞 908-367-3374 | 🌐https://www.deqh.org/
NQAPIA
Federation of LGBTQ+ Asian Americans, South Asian, Southeast Asian, and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Organizations
The Okra Project
Provides meals and wellness support to Black trans people and now also offers emergency funding and therapy sessions.
BEAM (Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective)
Focuses on mental health access and healing for Black communities with LGBTQ+ inclusive resources, training, and healing spaces.
Finding support as a queer person can be hard, but you are not alone. If you’re in Texas and seeking queer-affirming and trauma-informed therapy, I’d be honored to connect with you. Feel free to reach out here.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Queer-Affirming Therapy: What It Is and Why It Matters
Happy pride month!! June is here and June is queer. In a world that often minimizes or even just ignores the experiences of queer and trans people, the space of mental health therapy should be a place for safety and feeling fully seen. Historically, therapy has been far from safe and affirming for many LGBTQIA+ folks from outright harm to microaggressions. Clinical spaces have reinforced trauma rather than healed it so this is where queer-affirming therapy comes in. What is queer-affirming therapy and why does it matter? We’ll get to the what down below, but as for the why, it’s a matter of caring about clients’ safety and valuing justice within the therapeutic relationship and systemically. Queer-affirming therapy matters not just in the month of June, but always.
🌈 What is Queer-Affirming Therapy?
Queer-affirming therapy is an approach that affirms, celebrates, and highlights the identities and experiences of LGBTQIA+ individuals. It’s not just “accepting”, it’s actively affirming, which means your therapist is not just neutral, your therapist understands systemic oppression, uses inclusive language, respects your lived experiences, and is continuously working to unlearn their own biases. It also means your therapist:
Never pathologizes queerness
Centers your autonomy
Recognizes the impact of internalized shame, family rejection, gender dysphoria, and more
Affirms your identity without you needing to educate them
Supports your exploration of gender, sexuality, and relational structure (including non-monogamy, chosen-family, etc.) without judgement
⚠️ Why it’s Not Just About Being “LGBT- Friendly”
While well-intentioned, it may not be the same thing as affirming. Friendliness can be surface-level. Affirming care goes deeper. This well-intentioned stance can inadvertently cause more harm where clients can encounter:
Assumptions about gender, sexuality, and relationships that can be rooted in cishet norms
Minimizations of trauma related to religious harm, rejection or discrimination
A lack of knowledge around queer-specific issues from navigating hormones to complex grief
Affirming therapy is a place where you don’t have to mask yourself. Your therapist is doing the ongoing work to meet you where you are.
🧠 Why Queer-Affirming Therapy Matters
For LGBTQIA+ people, mental health struggles are often tied with living in a society where your existence is politicized, sexualized, misunderstood, erased, or demonized, you name it. Underneath the surface, that can look like:
Chronic stress
Anxiety
Hypervigilance
Grief
Internalized shame
Depression
Somatic symptoms like GI issues, physical pain, fatigue, etc.
Queer-affirming therapy holds space for all of this with deep respect and care for all complex emotions including celebrating queer joy and reclamation of that joy to find your way back to playfulness, pleasure, and pride.
💬 What a Queer-Affirming Space Might Include
At Root and Ember Counseling PLLC, queer-affirming care means I hold the space where your identity isn’t just accepted, it’s celebrated. Depending on your needs, our work together might include:
Building our therapeutic relationship safely at the pace that you set (this is foundational)
Exploring identity without pressure to label or explain
Learn to set boundaries in unsupportive relationships
Heal trauma and rewrite narratives
Reconnect with your body safely in a way that honors your gender and nervous system
Support you in existing and new relationships and celebrating joy
I integrate trauma-informed modalities like IFS, and EMDR and always honor your autonomy, our therapeutic relationship, and a non-pathologizing lens in our work together.
It’s okay to ask questions, it’s okay to be cautious, it’s okay to try new therapists, it’s okay to take your time, it’s okay to protect your energy. If you ever want to explore therapy, you deserve a space that meets you with warmth, safety, and clarity. I’d love to walk alongside you. Schedule a free consultation here.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Mental Health Awareness Isn’t Just for May: How to Keep Caring for Yourself Year-Round
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and we’ve arrived at the end of it. Each year, May brings reminders to check in with ourselves and others, to reduce stigma, and prioritize our mental wellbeing. While I value the message, I also want to remind us that mental health support shouldn’t be seasonal. Sustainable healing and emotional health is ongoing and it is an integral part of self-care.
At Root and Ember Counseling, I believe that mental health isn’t just about reacting to your needs in the moment, it’s about tending and creating a relationship with yourself that is lifelong. Here are a few ways to intentionally care for yourself and nurture your self-relationship throughout the months.
Make Your Mental Health an Ongoing Ritual, Not Just a Response
It’s natural to seek support when in a crisis, but just like you wouldn’t wait for an emergency to see your regular doctor, you don’t have to wait for a breakdown to care for your mental health. Here are some ways to ritualize ongoing care:
Morning check-ins: “What do I need today?”
5-minute grounding routines (body scan, stretching, deep breathing)
Journaling to self-reflect as things come up for you throughout the day as a way to externally process
Listening to your body when it wants to rest, eat, drink, use the restroom, laugh, play, smile, be angry, be happy, be sad, dance, and flow
2. Learn to Recognize Small Signs of Distress
Clients often tell me they felt “fine” one moment and overwhelmed the next. Sometimes that can be true and sometimes there were signs in between that were often missed like subtle shifts in mood, energy, or behavior. It takes practice, time, and patience to notice them. Developing a self-relationship and learning to recognize these signs early can help you care for yourself and prevent burnout. Here are some signs that something may be off:
Feeling disengaged and numb
Avoiding others or avoiding tasks
Difficulty focusing or making decisions
Feeling irritable, feeling guilt, feeling shame
3. Talk About Mental Health with Others
Reducing stigma requires real conversations not just public campaigns. Ways to foster openness:
Vulnerability often begets vulnerability so if you feel safe to, share openly about your own experiences
Ask loved ones how they’re actually doing and actively listen
Avoid comparisons and dismissive responses like, “At least you didn’t…”
Normalize emotions and therapy as part of everyday life
4. Customize Your Self-Care to YOUR needs
Don’t let social media tell you that self-care is just bubble baths and retail therapy. While those are still needed, deeper self-care is trauma-informed. It’s about letting YOUR specific nervous system tell you what it genuinely needs to feel regulated and safe. Self-care is not always soothing, it’s about what will support you long-term even when it’s uncomfortable. This can look like:
Setting boundaries with others and feeling guilt, yet sitting with that discomfort because long-term it’s what your nervous system needs to feel safe
Saying no to social plans even though originally you had wanted to go, but now you’re not really feeling up to it and it’s okay to change your mind
Letting yourself cry without judgement (no that’s not necessarily a “menty b”)
Moving your body in ways that bring relief (walking, stretching, yoga, shaking, stimming, dancing, etc.)
Doing less, not more
5. Seek Ongoing Support That Feels Safe
Therapy isn’t just for specific problems, it’s also for self-exploration, unlearning, and reconnecting with yourself. Whether you’re wanting to heal from past trauma, struggling with shame, or just curious about what’s going on in your inner world, having a consistent therapeutic relationship can be really powerful for mental wellness. At Root and Ember Counseling, you don’t have to wait for a crisis to come up, your healing matters every day. If you’re ready for someone to walk alongside you, I’m here to help. Schedule a free consultation today.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Can I Benefit From Trauma Therapy If I Don’t Remember Anything “Bad” Happening?
“Trauma.” It’s a daunting word and one that we hear often these days, but what does it actually mean? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, experiencing or witnessing violence, death of a loved one, war, and more. The APA states that “immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical” and “longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.”
Examples of traumatic experiences might include being a victim of an assault, being in a major accident, or experiencing war. But what if you don’t remember a “terrible event” happening or even have memories to recall from? It simply just means that this definition isn’t all-encompassing and not all trauma is obvious or has a distinct beginning, middle or end. Sometimes the trauma is continuous, repetitive, and subtle and that is when it becomes complex trauma.
The Weight of Complex Trauma
Complex trauma can be defined as:
(1) Repetitive, prolonged, or cumulative stressors
(2) Interpersonal harm - including neglect, abandonment, or emotional abuse often by caregivers or trusted adults
(3) Developmental vulnerability times in life, especially in childhood or adolescence, though it can also occur in adulthood through attachment injuries and relationship wounds.
Instead of one clear traumatic event, complex trauma is the accumulation of small, painful moments over time. It’s the emotional neglect, the inconsistency in the caregiving one received, the mixed messages, being shamed for feelings, and feeling unsafe over time. It’s not necessarily what happened to you, but what you didn’t receive, which is comfort, attunement, validation, and empathy. These experiences have a subtle, yet significant impact that can shape how someone feels about themselves, how they relate to others, and respond to stress, often without even realizing it.
What Complex Trauma Can Feel Like
Complex trauma can vary in severity from person to person, but here are common signs.
Chronically anxious or shut down
People-pleasing tendencies or perfectionistic tendencies
Struggling with boundaries
Low self-trust
Persistent sense that something is “off”, but not knowing what or why
Oftentimes, I hear clients say things like “but others had it worse” or “I’m just being dramatic” and to that, I say don’t let your own internalized minimization keep you from seeking therapy because therapy isn’t just for the big “T” traumas or crises, it’s also for relational healing, connection to yourself, and clarity that you didn’t deserve the wounds that you received. Your pain is valid.
How Therapy Can Help
Healing from complex trauma takes time, patience, and a lot of compassion for yourself. Modalities like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) can help you reconnect with the parts of you that feel stuck in time, parts that carry shame, fear, or confusion. IFS, one of my favorite approaches, creates space to gently re-parent these parts allowing for unburdening, relief, and inner peace.
If you’re unsure of starting therapy, there are always ways to begin that involve dipping your toe in instead of diving like journaling, exploring self-help books, trying guided meditations, and becoming more curious about the different parts of you. Remember: you do not need to compare your pain to others. Your story matters and you are worthy of support, no matter your lived experiences. If you’re curious about any of my approaches listed in my therapy services page, don’t hesitate to reach out for a free consultation.I’d be honored to walk alongside you in your journey.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Your Privacy Matters: Why I Opt Out of Insurance Panels as a Private Pay Mental Health Therapist
When seeking therapy, most clients aren’t aware of what happens behind the scenes after a session ends. One of the biggest and often unseen challenges is dealing with insurance companies. Prior to starting my own private pay practice, I worked in an insurance-based group practice, where I saw firsthand the amount of time and effort spent justifying treatment, submitting paperwork, and ensuring that clients could receive quality care at an affordable rate.
However, this process often comes at a cost: client’s privacy and confidentiality can be compromised to meet insurance requirements. Private pay therapy offers a level of privacy and autonomy that insurance-based therapy simply cannot.
When clients pay directly for sessions, their medical records and treatment details are not shared with an insurance company. This means that your personal information is strictly between you and your therapist, which eliminates the risk of possible third party entities accessing information without your knowledge, but with your consent through the insurance company’s fine print.
Here are a few key ways private pay therapy offers greater privacy and autonomy compared to an insurance-based model:
No Mandatory Diagnosis
When using insurance, therapists are required to provide a mental health diagnosis in order to justify the need for treatment so that the insurance company can pay for sessions. This diagnosis becomes part of your permanent medical record and may have implications for future insurance coverage, employment, or legal matters.
With private pay, a diagnosis is not required. This allows therapy to focus on your needs, not the needs of your insurance company’s. This also ensures that your personal records remain confidential.
2. Your Therapy Notes Remain Private
Insurance companies regularly audit therapists’ notes to verify treatment necessity to ensure compliance with their standards and to make sure that you are still meeting criteria for your diagnosis. This means that details from your sessions like what you share, your progress, and even how you present to the session, could be reviewed by a third party without you knowing.
In private pay therapy, what you share stays between you and your therapist. It’s kind of like Vegas, (what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas) giving you the freedom to be open and vulnerable without concern about where your information is actually going.
3. More Control Over Your Care
Insurance companies dictate the session lengths, the session frequency, and sometimes even the type of therapy you can receive based on reimbursement policies. This often results in shorter sessions, limitations on the number of visits, or denials for certain therapeutic approaches even if they would benefit you.
With private pay, you are in full control of your therapy journey. You decide how often you see your therapist, the length of your sessions, and the focus of your treatment. There are no insurance-drive restrictions, which allows therapy to be truly tailored to your individual needs rather than a standardized formula.
With insurance companies, the focus is not on you, it is focused on standardized guidelines and financial considerations. Private pay therapy shifts the focus back to where it belongs: you and your healing process.
While private pay is an investment, it is also a commitment to your privacy and well-being. To support those who wish to use their out-of-network benefits, I provide superbills, allowing clients to seek reimbursement from their insurance providers if they choose. However, I do not work directly with insurance companies—ensuring that your therapy remains a private, confidential space free from third-party interference.
If you'd like to get started talking to a private pay therapist, contact me for a free consultation today.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S
Parts Work: What is it?
Have you ever felt conflicted about a situation? Maybe torn between snuggling with your dogs in bed, but needing to get to work because you don’t want to disappoint your boss? Or on deciding to go to the gym to feel better, but that cappuccino ice cream has been calling your name instead? Everyone has different parts of themselves and your parts work together to protect you, your core Self.
You might have heard of parts work, inner child work, or of Internal Family Systems (IFS). These all encompass a way to work with our inner parts similar to bringing your entire family into therapy to learn how to better get along, have better balance, and overall have less conflict between its members. The more traumatic experiences someone goes through, the more polarized and imbalanced their parts tend to be. These parts communicate with us through our bodies via thoughts, emotions, sensations, or impulses.
There are a few categories of parts within a person.
Core Self: This is our natural essence and the north star to all of our parts. The Self emerges when you feel completely safe and centered and it embodies compassion, curiosity, calmness, creativity, clarity, and courage. Until the key parts below learn to trust the Self, it typically cannot take an active role in leading the inner system.
Exiles: These are the vulnerable parts of ourselves that are usually younger in age that hold distressing feelings and beliefs that are learned from experiences we’ve endured. These are the feelings of shame and despair coupled with the beliefs of “I’m bad”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m shameful”, or “I don’t matter” that are always lurking underneath the surface.
We have two types of protector parts, which protect us from our exiles getting activated in distinctly separate ways.
Managers (A proactive protector): This is our resident inner critic, their main job is to run your life, keep your schedule, and make sure you stay “acceptable” by society’s standards. Some examples of how manager parts manifest in our life are people pleasing tendencies, perfectionistic qualities, anxiety, and general overachieving. Managers protect us by keeping everything in line so that we can try our best to control and prevent anything bad from happening that could result in humiliation or abandonment from others, which could activate our exiles.
Firefighters (A reactive protector): This is our ‘douse the pain’ button, their main job is to numb and deflect when anything hits too close to home. Some examples of how firefighter parts manifest in our lives are behaviors like addiction, binge eating, overspending, doomscrolling for hours, having anger issues and self-harm. Firefighters protect us by distracting, creating diversions, and automatically reacting to things so that we can create distance from our pain (our exiles pain) because it’s too hard to face.
Every part is valuable within the system and all parts try their best to protect and keep you safe. Sometimes they can be at odds with each other on how best to go about keeping you safe, which can feel like inner turmoil. Once your parts get to know and trust the core Self, the Self will naturally keep things running smoothly by intervening in conflicts and helping to negotiate things between parts. This work offers a route to resolve inner conflicts, bring balance to our inner world, and promote self-compassion.
An important first step toward this form of healing is to get curious about your different parts. If you resonate with this holistic view of our minds and would like to learn more, please schedule a free consultation with me using the contact form on the site. I would love to get to know you and your parts.
Sam Villarreal
Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate supervised by Melinda Porter, LPC-S